Slow

I have noticed that my lightbulb moments are never really unexpected.

It almost always takes me a long time to truly realize things about myself. It's kind of hard to explain... It's like I can walk around with quite advanced suspicions for ages before I suddenly one day fully realize they are very true indeed. I don't know, maybe it works like this for other people too; maybe it's just in movies or whatever that people's moments of self discovery are completely unexpected. ut I can't help but feel that these preceding inklings kind of ruin the "aha!"s and replace them with "well, duh"s, especially when I want to talk about my amazing new discoveries with other people. They're all "Well, you have talked about that for like three years" and I'm all "BUT NOW I KNOW IT'S TRUE, OKAY?" and feel a bit embarrassed by my slowness. I spend so much time analysing my own emotions that it feels like it shouldn't take me as long as it does to figure things out.

I suspect this means I should just lay off the constant self analysis because it doesn't really speed up my emotional development anyway. I would probably reach the same conclusions at approximately the same time without the constant navel gazing, and save a lot of time and energy in the process.

There. Cryptic blog post of the day: done.